Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I actually pay taxes

Apollo astronauts discovered the moon is covered in tiny orange glass beads. Now we finally know why. - Live Science

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If you get a chance to have sex with either Kajal Agarwal or Samantha, who would you choose and why?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do you relax?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

NASA warns: massive anomaly spreads across Earth, linked to mysterious forces beneath the surface - Glass Almanac

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What I have noticed is nearly every girl I try to connect with whom reject me are in their early 20s why is that the case?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

How did my ex move on very fast?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

If a guy is attracting a bunch of what he believes to be "ugly" women, is he crushing the dating game?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What is the most popular boat rental service in Pompano Beach for birthday parties or special events?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

I took a video of my serve (60 FPS) and it took 0.4 seconds from my racket to the service line. How fast would you say my serve was?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How rough can the ferry passage from Hull to Rotterdam be in the autumn ( at the end of October )?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Can a hoodoo or candle spell be used to remove a love spell placed on someone by another person? What is the difference between voodoo and hoodoo?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a friend's daughter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a reading level above third grade

What is life without a job?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.